so valentine's day.  well, here's the thing.  we are pretty much over it.  why?  let me start by taking you back to our first valentine's day together.  we happen to be in paris.  we happen to have tickets to the opera {in paris!} and reservations at an incredible restaurant.  we spent a lovely morning wandering the city - i had been there before, but with girlfriends - and honestly i was expecting nothing short of a near religious experience being there with my fiance.  that afternoon we picked up a rented tux for den and eventually we made our way back to the hotel.  as we began to get ready we noticed that the rental was missing a bow tie.  and i began to freak out.  oh, if that were the worst of our problems that night - i would have been so much calmer.  we called down to housekeeping - the front desk - anyone we could think of who might be able to help at this late hour.  eventually the maitre'd of the hotel's restaurant was kind enough to lend his to den for the night.  profuse thank you's and mercis followed as did the request for the front desk to call us a taxi.  oh there is a stand out front you say?  and no one waits more than a few moments?  okay then - we shall go and wait.

and wait.

and wait.

twenty minutes later - the opera set to begin in about ten minutes - we hurry into the taxi and make our request.  the driver was japanese and his french was worse than my own - and my japanese was inexistent.  we finally all agreed that the opera is where we wanted to be.  he dutifully drove us across town, dropped us off - and in a mad dash we climbed the stairs of the opera house.  panting and i am sure quite the vision at that point, i offered our ticket number to the gentleman at the door.  who barely looked at it before informing us that there was no opera tonight and we must be at the wrong opera house.  in fact, he smiled, there were three of them in his great city.  the tears would no longer hold.  i walked out of the building and stood on the steps in a gown - not a dress - a gown - feeling rather deflated and looking much like a stood up prom queen.  we tried to catch another taxi to no avail- about another 30 minutes of drama ensued before someone was kind enough to invite us into their little hotel and allow us to use the phone to call a taxi - this was after more tears and beating on den's chest of course.  we climbed into the cab - sitting on opposite sides of the car and silent on our way back to the hotel.  i could not stomach the thought of dinner - i just wanted to call my mom and cry some more - den was rather sick of it at that point i am sure - though he did a wonderful job hiding it.  at some point den ordered dinner from room service - $16 cheeseburgers, fries and a bottle of merlot.  it was wonderful and while at the time i did not feel the evening was salvaged, i found i enjoyed our evening together in that little room.

the following year - our first as a married couple, i was determined to take back valentine's day.  i surprised den with a lobster dinner - rose petals cast across the dining table and a decadent chocolate desert.  he had had a bad day at work and when his response was not what i imagined i freaked out a little bit.  okay a lot.  and there were more tears and our worst fight - and really - it was all so ridiculous.  the following year i had a major migraine - i didn't want to get out of bed.  but he surprised me with a dinner of cheeseburgers, fries and merlot.  at first, i didn't get it - i was out of it from my headache - once he explained why he made cheeseburgers for dinner - there were more tears - but those of happiness.

since that night we have tried to maintain that tradition.  the one year that we made plans deviating from the cheeseburgers - we planned on a multi-course romantic meal in a new restaurant that had just opened in town.  as i was driving back into town from dropping the girls at my parents house - the volvo i was driving at the time literally caught on fire on the interstate.  i took it as a sign.  can you guess what we ended up having for dinner that night?

whatever your plans tonight do remember that you are loved... and really flowers, chocolate - the "perfect" evening are not true reflections of this.  embraces, warmth - being unconditional in your love for one another - whether that be your partner, your children, your friends, your furry friend - just love.  just love.  and do it every single day.  not just today.

xoox

Comments

[Jen]

exactly...every day.

[Liz]

I'm glad that I'm not the only one who thinks all the pomp and circumstance surrounding Valentine's Day actually takes away from it's true meaning.

[Melissa de la Fuente]

Oh, I have missed you and your beautiful words...why has it taken me so long to visit? This is perfection Jen, I can see it all so clearly and it makes me giggle. Yes, just love....that is what I hold close to my heart. Love them....just love them.
xo
Melis

[Lauren Beacham]

inspiring! i was sitting here truly fuming as my valentines day plans have just fluttered out the window. my boyfriend of 3 years (this would be our first full-day valentines day to spend together) is now in another city, waiting for his mother to get off her cruise ship that is now 3 hours delayed as he was so dutiful and kind a son to follow her commands (even though he had to drop her off during a blizzard, and pick her up on a day we had been planning for weeks) and now all of our plans (potentially even dinner) are out of reach. thank you for reminding me, and all of us, what is truly important - today, and everyday. maybe we'll start our own traditions tonight :)

[leoniewise]

that's gotta be one of the (if not the) very best valentine's day story ever.

[Rabia]

that is unlucky but in a sense lucky because you got to see past the fluff of this holiday to the true meaning of a relationship... i agree with u completely

[judy haney]

All so true. Every day can be full of love, reeling with love, if we just make it happen.

[beth]

amen....and what great memories....because without the good ones, the bad ones aren't funny the next day !!

here's to cheeseburgers and merlot !

[fernanda]

ohhh, beautiful post, jen, as always! i enjoyed reading it so much! and couldn't agree more with its "love every single day" message..! ♥

[Susannah]

oh how many 'perfect' evenings have not gone smoothly... the best times are found in the spontaneous moments...

[theresa/t does wool]

such a beautiful post~

[bright and blithe]

We were just laughing last night about the year we ended up going through the Chic-fil-a drive-thru on Valentines day. It's a long story, but one we will laugh at into our old age. It's who you're with that matters, for sure.

[julia]

yes! exactly right.

[handmadecharlotte]

ohhh i love that story!!! i have had wonderful tales in the city of love! thank you for sharing!

[alexandria]

This made me smile...beautifully put.

[Tim]

what a great post. very well written.

[thedoodlegirl]

Brought a tear to my eye. Beautiful, lovely post. You are a wonderful writer. I just love how you have retold these experiences and added such a lovely thought at the end. Funny, tender, brilliant.

[circus charlie]

here here!

[Bronwyn]

I love this story and the message you send with it. I've noticed myself putting a lot of pressure on the day and naturally the boyfriend of eight years. As a result no matter what he does it isn't enough in my mind (which usually, thankfully, are thoughts I keep to myself) and I expect him to say and do more. The silly lessons we must learn!

[patsy]

Nice post, makes me remember our first Valentine's day as a married couple. My husband tried to make it special. We went to a favorite restaurant for dinner but we didn't know that they totally change the menu and the set up on Valentine's day. It was way too crowded (they added more tables) and the food portions were annoyingly smaller. The only thing memorable about it, because it was so strange, was there was this guy blowing through a leaf to make music. When we got home and turned on the TV, there he was again on TV! It was like the Twilight Zone! We never went out again on valentine's day!

[seo services]

This valentine's day is just our chinese tratraditional Spring Festival.